sexta-feira, 11 de novembro de 2011

Porque estou farto de repetir o mesmo.
Porque estou cansado de ver as minhas palavras a caírem no vazio.
Porque estou exausto de te tentar tocar apenas para ser afastado.
Porque estou desiludido de ver que só estás cansada para mim.
Porque estou desesperado por um carinho que nunca chega.
Porque estou sozinho mesmo estando acompanhado.
Porque estou cheio de ouvir que me amas sem o ver demonstrado.
Porque estou farto de te tentar tocar só para ser afastado.
Porque estou a precisar de apoio que não chega.
Porque estou desejoso de ter de volta aquilo que costumavas ser para mim.
Porque estou cansado de mentir à mesma pergunta de sempre.
Porque estou ainda mais farto de ver no teu rosto que sabes que minto, e simplesmente te resignas com a resposta.
Porque estou cansado de ter uma alcunha que já nada significa.
Porque no fundo, amo-te, e só tenho pena de tu já não partilhares esse sentimento.
É por isto que te respondo sempre: "Não, não estou chateado contigo."
Não, não estou chateado. Só estou exausto de ver uma relação a desvanecer-se e nada do que eu faça o pode parar, porque tu simplesmente não estás interessada.

domingo, 19 de junho de 2011

Silence

Silence. Blessing, curse...
Silence is the sound I most often make. No words, no whispers, no sound.
Why? Well, what's the point in talking? People don't listen. They hear, and they forget. I talk, and then I regret ever saying a word when moments later everything just goes back to what it was before I said anything. Why ask if you aren't willing to listen? Why make someone talk, explain, hurt while doing so, only to do exactly the same thing the next day?
That is the reason I stay silent. The first time you say something new, something unheard before, it's news. The second time, its just a repetition of the first one, with nothing new in it except the pain of having to repeat it when your brain just screams inside that there is abso-fucking-lutly no point in saying it again. There is no point because if you had listened the first time, instead of just hearing, you wouldn't need to be saying it again. You could be enjoying the blessing of being silent, instead of the pain of repeating allied to the dreadful certainty that it will have exactly the same effect it did before... none...
And then it repeats again... more useless talking into empty ears that refuse to listen, more trying even harder to find the right words to make your point get across to somebody else, more of the same happening little after...

"The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear."
That sentence is a quote I found in Backtrack Linux the first time I installed it and that I shall forever remember. I'm not gonna go on a ramble on how strong those words are, how perfect they are in reflecting what is expected of the users of Backtrack. There's no point in that. However, it does have a pretty powerful message inside that can be applied to all other aspects of life... Meditate upon it if you dare.

How can you fear something so much, see that its happening and still do nothing to avoid it? Especially when it can be as simple...